In My Write Mind

Ahhh… it was Wednesday. Hump Day in da citay. Gorgeous weather. A nice, peaceful day. Perfect day to play hooky. I haven’t been feeling great and just needed a day (turns out two) to recharge and relax. Take out some Will time. Do some things I haven’t been able to do in a while. Like sleep in. Finish a book. Read some blogs. Catch a movie. So that’s what I decided to do yesterday. In that order.

I should’ve stopped while I was ahead. Oy.

Let me just say that the sleep that you get when you’re supposed to be doing something else… is the best sleep in the world!!! Add in the fact that I have a head cold, and I swear I could’ve slept all day. But who wants to waste a gorgeous hooky day in the bed… alone? LOL Yeah, me neither. So about 10ish, I got up, showered and plotted out my day.

I’ve been reading Danyel Smith’s new book, Bliss, and contemplated finishing it yesterday, but decided that since I was traveling this weekend, I’d finish it on the plane instead. Sooooooo… it was on to the blogworld to get my read on, catch up on the stuff I missed last week, and continue to spruce up my new digs through trial and error. While in the midst of all this, I get an IM from my friend Shine, who’s a teacher and is off during the summer. Apparently she IMed me to laugh at me for having to work (as per usual). When informed of my hooky day (read: shutting her up…lol), she asked what I was doing for the day. I told her I was going to catch a movie. Weddi.ng Cra.shers.

Of course, since she has no life (lol), she wanted to tag along. Not a problem, right? Not on a gorgeous, peaceful, middle-of-the-summer day, right? Especially with a name like Shine… things should go swimmingly well, right?

Yeah… notsomuch. Lemme ’splain.

First and foremost, I should’ve never agreed to see THIS movie with her. Rewind to a few weeks ago, before the movie opened. Shine called and told me she had passes to the preview screening. Asked if I wanted to go. I said, Of course. We stroll to the theater (around 6.30 for a 7.30 screening) and stand on the preview line for twenty minutes, only to have the theater manager come out and tell all 6,781 of us that the theater has been full for the past half hour and he thought one of the ushers had let us know. *blank stare*

OK. Nobody’s fault. How would we have known that we had to be to a 7.30 screening at 5.05?!?!?!?

Fast forward to yesterday. Neither one of us had seen the movie yet. So we decide to meet up at the 42nd Street Lo.ews to catch the 4pm show. Again, we both get there on time (a half-hour early even), ready to see Vince Vaughn act a fool.

Sigh. This… is where When Keeping Shine Around Goes Burn.

Shine decides that she wants a Starbux latte before we go upstairs to the theater. Why not, I think… we are there plenty early and it’s Manhattan–I’d much rather people watch while she gets a latte than be sitting in the theater trying to guess asinine trivia like, “Who drank the second bottle of water during the drunk muskrat scene in the animated film Musk We Dance?” So, faced with that choice, Starbux it was. We are there for no more than five minutes… order, pickup and we’re out. Still with 20-some odd minutes to spare. Which means I still had to look forward to three Fand.ango commercials, the inevitable preview for one of Terrence Howard’s 49 movies this summer, and Shine’s choosing of seats that resembles shopping for a new barco lounger. Ahhh…good times.

Except… we never made it that far.

I went to the machine to purchase the tickets. Flawless. I swear I’m a pro at this machine (except for a certain one in Atlanta that just.doesn’t.like.me). That still leaves us 15 minutes to kill. We head upstairs. I have a magazine and newspaper in one hand, and was responding to an email with my Sidekick with the other hand. (Yeah, I’m multi-faceted. LOL) So, with these 15 minutes to go, and with only the latte in her hand, I ask Shine to please hold the tickets. That I paid for. (Please keep these last two sentences in mind as I proceed.) She agrees and we head upstairs.

We get to the usher who takes the tickets. Nice, calm Indian dude who, I swear in the meekest voice known to man, informs Shine that she cannot bring any outside beverages into the theater. That’s what I’m talkin’ about…meek and quiet on a peaceful, hookyfied summer day. Yeah. So Shine, showing the manners and tact that I’m sure her mother taught her at some point… ERUPTS!!! Not in an excuse-me-I-didn’t-quite-hear-you way.

No.

In a WHO-IN-DA-HELL-DO-YOU-THINK-YOU’RE-TALKING-TO way. She berated the man, yelling at him that there is no sign alerting people of that rule. Calmly, he shows her said sign. That should be it…right?

Wrong. This is Mount Hiro-Shine-a over here. She demands to speak to the manager who, after hearing the commotion, steps over in the name of peace. He apologizes for the sign not being as prominently displayed as she would’ve liked, offers a beverage to replace the beverage she couldn’t bring in, again apologizes and thinks that we’re done. So.did.I. Yeah… we weren’t done. This young lady… while holding a half-empty latte in her hand… one that could’ve been finished in the amount of time it took for this tirade… proceeds… to hand the tickets that I asked her to hold… the tickets that I paid for… over to the manager and asks for a refund.

Read that again.

I was in shock. No, for real. My face resembled Dave Chappelle’s when that dude in the barber shop scene from Season 2 did the freestyle that ends with the words “boom-pow surprise!” I just KNEW she was playing around. Thought maybe she knew the manager or that she chose Lo.ews because she was part of some dinner theater show I wasn’t aware of. Nope. She was just straight trippin’. The manager gave me the refund and I broke outta there, trying to get as far away from Shine as possible. Didn’t care if she choked on that $5 concoction that was the centerpiece of an acting scene worthy of a b-list drama school. She caught up with me downstairs, asked me to wait up as I planned which theater I was going to, sans Shine, as I planned the rest of my stress-free day and cursed Starbux for seemingly being the springboard for her crack-like episode.

She caught up with me and asked…with a straight face no less…”So what do you wanna do?” I swear, if looks could kill, I’d be Sam Jackson in a courtroom right now fighting for my life. I said, “What the fuck was that? Do you realize how much you overreacted?” And she had the nerve to say…and I’m getting tense as I replay this in my mind…”It was the principle. And I would’ve appreciated a little support.”

Hi, my name is Will. I’m sarcastic. And sarcasm is what helps me deal with situations such as this. So I say, “I support black organizations. I support the saving of the whales. I support my nuts with boxers. Those things deserve support. Whatever that was up there…notsomuch. AND the next time you decide to do something with MY money, I’d better be in on the decision.” And I walked away, scanning the paper for the next showing at another theater.

The moral of the story? Spend your hooky days with friends you’re sure won’t cause you grief. Yeah, the ones that don’t ever call you while at work and make fun of you for having a job during the summer while they’re at home. The ones that don’t drink Starbux. The ones that don’t have Lauryn Hill-like lapses in sanity.

Yes, I saw Wedd.ing Crashers. Finally. At a theater further downtown. Alone. It was quite funny. Peaceful. Stress-less.

Last night, while I was out at dinner, I got another IM from Shine… “You’re still upset with me, aren’t you?” It was still Hooky Day and I was at peace. But not totally.

So in keeping with her earlier need, I sarcastically responded, “I fully support that statement.”

Blah.