American Idyll
Idyll: A short poem or prose piece depicting a rural or pastoral scene, usually in idealized terms.
It’s Monday. I have a staff meeting to attend. And piles and piles of work crap to finish. Soooooo … with that said, let’s have some fun. With my own version of American Idyll. LOL
Below, you will find another one of my award-winning poems (I’ve said repeatedly how great I am at spoken word … LOL) The theme, you ask? *cough* French fries. Yes, my rural, pastoral love of potatoes. LOL
OK, so the poem isn’t the fun part.
The fun begins with your comments. I’d like to ask all who choose to leave one, to do so as one of the judges from American Idol. You can be blunt like Simon, ramble on and on like Paula or have some fun with it (dawgs, yo’s and dude’s included) like Randy.
Fun, no? Blah. It will be for me. Soooooo … do it anyway. LOL Here goes.
French Fry Love
You told me,
you told me you needed me to
ketchup
To ketchup and realize
That you were assaulted
With pepper spray and
You were feeling cheesy
Because it’s not easy
Being you.
*bow*
*SMILING REALLY BIG*
[Paula] that was really nice.[/Paula] [Randy]i liked the imagery and the personification, and you know what else, dawg, it even made me hungry…[/Randy] [Simon] it shows some promise, but seriously, i think you may have just earned your ticket home with that one.[/Simon]
Comment by glory — 03.20.06 @ 11:07 am
A la Simon - And you call yourself a writer? That was appauling! Paula - I just loved it. You are so gifted. Randy - Dude that was cool. I dig fries, just as hard as you do.
Comment by Amn.eris — 03.20.06 @ 2:59 pm
[Randy] Dawg, I gotta be honest - that just wasn’t doing it for me. Yo dude, I mean, I was kinda hungry before you started, but dawg - that killed my appetite.[/Randy]
[Paula] Don’t listen to Randy - he’s just upset because he hasn’t been able to eat more than 3 fries since the surgery. Sweetie ignore him - you have a definitive gift that the world needs to hear…[/Paula]
[Simon, cutting Paula off] Obviously, we need to cancel Paula’s Zanax prescription. That was ghastly, I mean honestly - I believe you’re attempting to try out for the Dead Poet’s Society by quite literally making them roll over in their graves. The phone’s ringing, it’s for you - it’s McDonald’s calling - they want their “spoken-word” ad back![/Simon]
Comment by saga — 03.20.06 @ 3:14 pm
[Simon]I know William Hung. And you, sir, are no William Hung.
[Paula] That was so…CLEVER. Catch up/ketchup…you’re not only a lyrical genius, but smart too!
[Randy] Yo, dawg. That shit was half-baked.
Comment by viciousvamp — 03.20.06 @ 3:27 pm
[Simon]That was dreadful! I mean it was absolutely dreadful! I don’t even know how you slipped under the radar. You have NO business writing poetry for anyone. Ever. This performance actually makes me hope you’re voted off this week[/Simon]
[Paula] *Gasp* Simon! It was okay. I mean it wasn’t bad. I mean…I know what it’s like to have a love for french fries and not be able to really express it like you want to. It’s really difficult…it really is! Sweetie, I think you put in a great effort, but it was a difficult poem. You should have tried an easier topic like chicken nuggets or something. *blows kiss* [/Paula]
*sigh*
[Randy]Yo Dawg. I dunno man. I mean, I wasn’t really feelin’ it dawg! You gotta keep it real when you talk about the fries, yo! It was….it was aiiiight, but definitely not up to par dawg. My bad….G.[/Randy]
Comment by Sunnchine — 03.20.06 @ 3:50 pm
Paula: Will, you know what? You just embraced that poem and made it your own. I could almost tasted the fries through your imagery.
Randy: Yo, dawg! Nobody knows fries like I know fries. *rubbing tummy* But I dunno dawg. It was like you were holding back. I wasn’t quite feelin’ it.
Simon: That was utterly appalling. That wasn’t even McDonald’s crew chief worthy!
Comment by Nikki — 03.20.06 @ 5:17 pm
[Simon] The words make me want to puke!
Comment by Reinestorm — 03.20.06 @ 6:00 pm
[Simon] Reading that was akin to someone scratching their nails across a board. That was absolutely the worst poem I ever read.
[Randy] Dawg, you feeling awright tonight…dude that was not good for me at all.
[Paula] Will, you see…that was…well you see. You are a good writer. Simon…
Comment by jelli — 03.20.06 @ 6:40 pm
Randy: Yo, dawg… I wasn’t really feelin’ it but the whole “assaulted with pepper spray” line was kinda tight. I mean, dude, maybe you could take up some poetry writing lessons, G?
Paula: Well…um at least you gave it a nice try, I mean you DID spell all the words correctly and everything. *pause* I say send him to Hollywood!! *big smile* Simon?
Simon: [at Paula] Again I say you must have been starved of entertainment as a child. [at Randy] You have to have talent to progress it and I think Will would just be wasting his money. [at Will] Will, I think you’re likable, but the reality is, if I heard that at a poetry reading I’d walk out. That was terrible, I mean just awful.
Comment by Saniyya — 03.20.06 @ 7:49 pm
[Simon] See that’s whats wrong with Americans, they think french fies should be eaten with ketchup. I seriously think you need to rethink what you eat your fries with, clearly you have you’re in need of some serious help.
Comment by Honest — 03.21.06 @ 12:21 am
Paula - *standing* Bravo!! Bravo!! Bravo Will! I’m tearing up cause your poem touched my heart in a special place *wink*
Randy - dawg you a brotha so I just knew you would bring it dude but all that did was make me hungry…I just wasn’t feeling it dude talentwise.
Simon - *looking at Paula pitifully* Am I in the twilight zone? Will that was atrocious. Back in Leeds there is a fish and chips shop that I loved and what your poem should have done Will is make me long for that shop but instead I just want to shoot myself after hearing it! Horrible, just horrid Will!
Comment by Mwabi — 03.21.06 @ 11:10 am
i was checking back to see if you’d posted again (*eyeroll*) and noticed the picture of randy, paula, and simon… i could never put my finger on what’s wrong with randy. but i know now! that man needs facial hair, badly. i’ve figured it out - i can sleep at night now…
Comment by glory — 03.21.06 @ 1:29 pm
I SO can’t participate in this ‘cause I don’t watch AI, so I don’t know how the judges react.
But I will do what I normally do when AI comes on and CHANGE THE CHANNEL!! *running*
Comment by Beloved — 03.21.06 @ 3:16 pm
I’m running with Beloved. But do know, the comments were hilarious. LMAO
Comment by Yolanda — 03.21.06 @ 4:22 pm
I think it would make Randy hungry but then again everybody loves fries!
Comment by princessdominique — 03.21.06 @ 5:27 pm
*RPM looks around frantically, wondering if Will spotted the two day binge on McDonald’s fries…*
Comment by **RPM** — 03.21.06 @ 10:50 pm
LMAO @ Saga. That was PERFECT!
Comment by Juli — 03.22.06 @ 1:44 pm