In My Write Mind

… and I’m full. That’s all it took. Just eight words. It’s not necessarily what I wanted to hear, but definitely what I needed. And she spoke them to me as only she could.

Those eight words spoke volumes, right after I went on and on about how I couldn’t come up with anything to blog about. Couldn’t come up with anything to post after an April that was all that it could be … and then some.

It was just eight words that brought me back to life … back to reality. And with them, now I’m ready to go. Ready to write — right or wrong. I thank her for those words.

It’s what I needed to hear.

The words? Find a way to grow where you’re planted. That’s all she said in response. All she had to say. I sat there for a moment, stared at the words, let them soak in. Let ‘em do what they do. And they did. And now I’ll do the same.

The words were ironic, especially since I just moved. Since I just got back from Jamaica, from watching my good friend get married to the man of her dreams. Ironic in that they told me all I needed to know, told me to move while staying still. Implored me to do all that I can … where I am.

And I’ll be damned if that’s not what I’m gonna do.

I have to. It’s what this year has been all about: finding a way to grow. Making myself a commodity. Valuable to myself and to the world. And while doing so — and making huge strides, no less — somehow, I fell short in a most important area: keeping myself in my write mind.

I’ve been writing everything for everybody. Freelancing like crazy, ghostwriting for my president, taking on more responsibility at work, looking into programs that will help my career.

And still, something just wasn’t write. Because I wasn’t really writing where I stood. I kept it moving, kept making moves … but didn’t stay still. Didn’t write here. Didn’t find a way.

So now I’ve got to find a balance. Gotta find a way to keep taking steps while walking in place. Have to find a way to do just as my life has been doing lately. For real. You want to talk about balanced?

Great move to a wonderful spot? No reception on my cell phone in said spot.
Great vacation for a wonderful wedding? Two hours in the immigration line and almost three hours to the resort and almost three million mosquito bites while there.
Help a friend celebrate their birthday? Lose a cell phone in the process.

And then coming back home, after five days of sun and fun, after everything April has given me … and finding out that my mentee, my Mini-Moo, my Queens homie, lost her dad. Seeing her full of tears left my heart full.

All of that happened — every two steps forward being balanced by one step back in place — and yet I felt no desire to write. I lost my way during what could only be described as a strange ride lately — especially in the past few weeks.

From a wedding to a funeral to a birthday.

After an April full of all that, after losing my blogging way for way too long … it all makes sense now. Because of those eight words. Because of what life has given me and continues to give.

I have it good. Very good right now. And I have a balance that will keep me on my toes, keep me moving while staying still. And with the exception of praying for a friend as she attempts to make it through her major crisis, I can’t really ask for much more. I know what I have to do. I have to write. Right or wrong.

And in doing so, I’ll stay balanced. I’ll find a way to grow where I’m planted. My friend told me so under no uncertain terms.

I’m so full from everything, including the words from my friend. Those words that have me writing again. The words that have me feeling like I “just eight.”